I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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