Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
