Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
