I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
