I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
