How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
