UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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