Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are the jesus of drinking
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were trust falling into bushes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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