I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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