I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
