Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
