Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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