Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You ruined the universe
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
