He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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