he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
