Me too!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
