In the future we'll all be gay
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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