Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
