there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
