Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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