I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
