That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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