: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
