Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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