Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
