every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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