id be glad to
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
