My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
