Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
