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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history

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• (310): View more from California

  I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.

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• (233): View more from

  I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.

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