R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
