Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
