She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My ass is underappreciated
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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