I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
