her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
