everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
