Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
