Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I supernannyed him into submission
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