could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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