Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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