i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
