my soul wont recognize me after tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
