So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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