Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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