A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
