4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
