I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
