you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
