If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
