Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
