The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
