You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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