You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
