On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Randomize
